Colbert Rips Palin’s Book

Some decisions about what to put in this blog are difficult and some make themselves, this one fell into the latter category.

Colbert covers all the bases here, giving special attention to the right wing penchant for victimhood

00:05:09 [ Laughter ] I mean, losing the election, that was campaign adviser steve schmidt’s fault.
00:05:21 [ Laughter ] the shopping sprees, that was all the idea of some bad people on mccain’s staff.
00:05:28 [ Laughter ] and the katie couric interview: Katie’s entirely to blame.
00:05:35 [ Laughter ] and resigning the governorship halfway through her first.
00:05:42 Term, quote “the decision wasn’t about me.
00:05:43 It was about alaska”.
00:05:46 So it’ s really alaska’s fault.

From transcript:
http://www.livedash.com/transcript/the_colbert_report/4794/COMEDYP/Wednesday_November_18_2009/109359/

Enjoy.

Transcript –>
http://www.livedash.com/transcript/the_colbert_report/4794/COMEDYP/Wednesday_November_18_2009/109359/
Note: The only reason that I’m copying the complete transcript is because it is hard to indicate where the appropriate section is on the original page – different sections of the show do not appear sequentially. I will be more than happy to remove if requested to do so:

00:03:20 [ Laughter ] but, of course — [cheers and applause] there’s another little story I’ve found that’s flown under everybody else’s radar.
00:03:32 It seems sarah palin has a book.
00:03:38 “Going rogue,” okay?
00:03:42 [Cheers and applause] available for 3o% off.
00:03:44 Of course, I’ve always been a fan.
00:03:46 I was enthralled by palin’s campaign to be president of john mccain’s campaign.
00:03:50 [ Laughter ] well, I’ve taken a peek at this book and it has convinced me she is the leader our country deserves.
00:03:57 And that brings us to tonights word.
00:04:00 [Cheers and applause] grand old pity party.
00:04:08 Folks, I believe america is not only the greatest freest best country that god ever put on the face of planet earth.
00:04:15 Because, if you really don’t think about it, nothing is ever america’s fault.
00:04:18 [ Laughter ] the indians?
00:04:21 A lot of that was suicide — teepees are kind of depressing.
00:04:25 [ Laughter ] slavery?
00:04:28 I believe kunta kinte swam here to get away from the lions.
00:04:33 The illegal bombing of cambodia?
00:04:35 That wasn’t our fault — we were aiming for laos!
00:04:39 [ Laughter ] this is why I believe in sarah palin.
00:04:44 While I was hollowing her book out to hide my waffles, I had a chance to read almost the entire cover.
00:04:51 [ Laughter ] and I was stuck by the subtitle: An american life.
00:04:58 All right?
00:05:01 And that is so fighting because in her 413 page autobiography, just like america, nothing is ever sarah palin’s fault.
00:05:09 [ Laughter ] I mean, losing the election, that was campaign adviser steve schmidt’s fault.
00:05:21 [ Laughter ] the shopping sprees, that was all the idea of some bad people on mccain’s staff.
00:05:28 [ Laughter ] and the katie couric interview: Katie’s entirely to blame.
00:05:35 [ Laughter ] and resigning the governorship halfway through her first.
00:05:42 Term, quote “the decision wasn’t about me.
00:05:43 It was about alaska”.
00:05:46 So it’ s really alaska’s fault.
00:05:49 [ Laughter ] and it’s certainly not her fault that much of the book isn’t ” that’s the fault of the associated press.
00:05:57 As palin explained on her facebook page.
00:06:00 “The ap somehow nabbed a copy of the book before it was released.
00:06:03 We’ve heard 11 writers are engaged in this opposition research, er, “fact checking” ” [ laughter ] exactly.
00:06:13 Where palin’s concerned fact checking and opposition research are the same thing.
00:06:16 Because she knows the facts are out to get her.
00:06:20 [ Laughter ] and the fact that this book is A STEAMING PILE OF (bleep)?
00:06:25 [ Laughter ] [cheers and applause] also not her fault.
00:06:34 [ Laughter ] it was ghost written by someone named lynn vincent.
00:06:45 [ Laughter ] and, folks, while barack obama continues his world apology tour, I believe true americans are going to love this book, because true americans know that true americans are the true victims.
00:06:56 My only worry is that things are going too good for sarah palin right now.
00:07:01 She’s on oprah, cover of news week, barabara walters, I think she’s doing an ad campaign for sonic.
00:07:07 [ Laughter ] she’s just not looking like a victim.
00:07:18 But there’s an easy way for her to get that back.
00:07:19 just needs to nominate her for president in 2012.
00:07:21 Not that she would win.
00:07:22 After all, only 28% of americans think she’s qualified to be president.
00:07:28 [ Laughter ] come 2012 obama would pound her into the ground like a tent stake.
00:07:39 in that it’s lose-lose.
00:07:41 Because a white american christian woman being defeated by a black kenyan muslim man would allow her to truly snatch victory from the jaws of defeat.
00:07:54 And that’s the word[cheers and applause] welcome back, everybody.
00:11:16 [Cheers and applause] thank you.